While filming “Star Wars,” Carrie Fisher said she had an affair with Harrison Ford. And let’s just say she’s really happy nobody can understand R2D2.

Stephen Hawking says the human race will be wiped out in 1,000 years unless we move to another planet.  Oh great. And I just washed my car.

He is OK, but a private plane crash-landed at Santa Barbara airport when the pilot did not put down the landing gear. This is what happens when you make marijuana legal in California.  

“People” magazine has named Duane “The Rock” Johnson as the Sexiest Man Alive. I was on the list between Newt Gingrich and one of the “The Walking Dead” zombies. 

Skier, Lindsay Vonn, who has had two broken legs and three knee surgeries, just had surgery after breaking her arm in practice. All in all, still less painful than dating Tiger Woods. 




At a college cross-country race in Pennsylvania, a runner was knocked over by a deer but still finished the race near last That’s too bad. I had bet a buck on him.

But I didn't bet a lot of doe. 

A 55-year-old man, Joe Thomas Sr., is on the South Carolina State football team. They already have plays for him called, “Back in my day.” “You punks get off my lawn.” And “Damn you, stop speeding.”