When she started as campaign manager for Trump, Kellyanne Conway looked like a perky yoga teacher. Now she looks like a poster for the evils of meth. 




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Scientists have discovered an insect that has four penises. They gave it the Latin name Justinus Bieberus. 

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For Halloween, Donald Trump masks are outselling Hillary Clinton masks by 10%. The Donald Trump masks are just the Michael Myers from “Halloween” masks painted orange.

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Denver Bronco, De-Marcus Ware, came home from playing “Monday Night Football” to discover his house was robbed. Gosh, I wonder how the thieves knew he wasn’t home?

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Donald Trump’s Hollywood Walk of Fame star was destroyed by vandals with a sledge hammer. They treated Trump’s star like Trump treats his publicist. 

Police have issued an APB for Rosie O’Donnell. 

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May I suggest Donald Trump name his upcoming network BBC?  Bankrupt Before Commissioned. 

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In game 2 of the World Series, the Chicago Cubs will face Cleveland Indians pitcher, Trevor Bauer, who recently cut his pinky on a drone. Bauer’s October ERA is a high 5.06. No word if the drone cut to the bone and will dethrone the lone chance for Bauer to atone for how badly he’s thrown. 

In game 2 of the World Series, the Chicago Cubs will face Cleveland Indians pitcher, Trevor Bauer, who recently cut his pinky on a drone. Basically the same injury that caused Babe Ruth to be traded from the Boston Red Sox to the New York Yankees in 1919.

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Defending Donald Trump’s sexual assault allegations, Newt Gingrich accused “Fox News” Megyn Kelly of being obsessed with sex. This from Newt, a guy on his third marriage whose affairs ended his first two, the second wife served her divorce papers on her cancer hospital bed. 

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Insiders say Donald Trump is morose and defeated. Even that thing on his head has rolled over and is playing dead. 


Since you asked:

During the NLCS against the Dodgers, they cut to Tom Verducci who said, 

"The Cubs are five outs from the World Series."

Now, I am a fan of the Verdooch, but when he risked an announcer's jinx with a reference to the unfortunate Bartman calamity? I could have scrotum punted that guy. 

By the way, the Cubs need to make things right with Steve Bartman. So do us fans.