Taco Bell is opening 9,000 new restaurants. Good news for everyone. Well, except horses. 

During the Atlanta-Philadelphia game,  the announcers said Eagle Ryan Matthews missed a game due to a sore tooth. “Oh, that’s too bad,” said the ghost of Johnny Unitas who finished a game with his front four teeth knocked out. 

Sunday was World Kindness Day. Russian president, Vladimir Putin, celebrated World Kindness Day by not having anyone assassinated. 

During their loss against Seattle, New England’s Rob Gronkowski was knocked woozy. It was a tough medical call, a groggy Gronk versus a normal Gronk is like trying to tell the difference between egg shell white and off white. 

A Neo-Nazi group has declared New Balance the official shoe of white people. Does that mean you can’t dance in them? 

Upon hearing this, New Balance asked the Neo-Nazis, “Have you seen the latest Nikes? They’re amazing.” 

Taco Bell has opened its 7,000th restaurant in Las Vegas with a VIP lounge. It is so fancy, the beef tacos are made out of 100% pure bred stallion.

During their loss against Seattle, New England’s Rob Gronkowski was knocked woozy. When they held up three fingers and Gronk said, “Two,” they knew he was OK.