Who could have possibly imagined, a month ago, Ken Bone would be doing better with the babes than Donald Trump?

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An LA judge issued a 5-year restraining order for Kendall Jenner against an obsessed fan. Of course, Donald Trump denied the stalking accusations. 

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Did you see that speech in Florida where Donald Trump denied the groping charges? That Trump guy can do an amazing Alec Baldwin impression.

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Bob Dylan won a Nobel Prize for literature. This will be the first Nobel Prize acceptance speech with captions. 

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Donald Trump implied the “People” reporter, Natasha Stoynoff, who accused Trump of groping her, was not attractive enough to grope. So to be clear, Trump only sexually assaults hot women. 

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Chris Christie said Donald Trump’s comments to Billy Bush were indefensible. But for some reason Christie did not find the comments hard to swallow.

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In Santa Barbara, thieves robbed a donut shop of $700 in broad daylight. It was a brazen hold up considering the high chances a policeman would be there. 

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On “Fox News,” former Red Sox pitcher, Kurt Schilling, attempted to defend Donald Trump’s comment about dating a ten-year-old girl in the future. It did not go well. By the end, Schilling was bleeding from his sock. Or from someplace. 

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Toronto Maple Leaf rookie, Auston Matthews, scored four goals in his first game. This guy scores easier than Ken Bone in his red sweater.