Saturday, October 22, 2016

A company called Nadi makes smart fitness yoga pants that vibrate. They vibrate in three speeds: low, medium and “Who needs a man?” 

Eric Trump, was photographed in an In-N-Out Burger, but he had lemonade in the clear plastic cup provided for water. Because, when life gives you lemon orchards, steal the lemonade. 

In Australia a construction worker was in the Porta-potty and had to be hospitalized after being bitten on the penis by a poison spider. He was OK, but then, a few days later, it happened again. To which the spider said, “You’re not here to work, are you?”

Back on February 8th, Donald Trump called Ted Cruz a pussy. Knowing what we now know, it’s surprising Trump did not grab Cruz for his running mate. 

A study shows STD cases in the US are way up. They’re blaming this on an increase of bad hombres and nasty women.

Angry over Donald Trump’s crude comments, Joe Biden said he wishes they were in high school and he he could take Trump behind the gym. Did Joe Biden just threaten to make out with Donald Trump?

Donald Trump said he will only accept the election results if he wins. Trump’s the jerk who, when you win the first hand in poker, says, “That was just a practice round.”

A North Carolina judge, Arnold Jones, was convicted of trying to bribe a federal agent with two cases of Bud Light. He should go to jail. Not for bribery. For picking Bud Light. 

The Los Angeles Sparks beat the Minnesota Lynx 77-76 to win the WNBA Championship. That is truly amazing. There is still a WNBA?  

The Met Life blimp is getting rid of Snoopy. They’re telling people Snoopy is going to live on a farm, but we know he is making a one way trip to the vet. 

During the debate, Donald Trump said of illegal immigrants, “We have some bad hombres.” He sounded like a wild west sheriff. Next thing you know he’ll want to grab their posse.

Two of the most popular Halloween costumes this year? Bad Hombre and Nasty Woman. 

Russian hackers have shutdown Twitter, Spotify and Netflix among many others. Or as Trump calls the hackers from Russia: Chiiinaaa. 

Friday hackers shutdown Twitter, Spotify and Netflix among many others. It was so bad, many people finally agreed to play Candy Crush on Facebook with their Aunt.

The most popular dog names are Bella, Max, Lucy and Bailey. The least popular dog names are Zika, Isis, Billy and Bush.