Monday, October 17, 2016

Melania Trump always look like she is being informed - while on camera - she has to share her private jet with some strangers. And they will be serving domestic champagne. 

A little dab will do yah, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

ISIS is in trouble in Mosul. The battle is going so bad for ISIS they’re now claiming the battle is rigged.  

Donald Trump tweeted that the “SNL” portrayal of him by Alec Baldwin was a media hit job. We tried to ask Trump for a comment, but it turned we were asking Alec Baldwin by mistake.  

Donald Trump tweeted that the “SNL” portrayal of him by Alec Baldwin was a media hit job. To give you an idea how accurate the Alec Baldwin impression of Trump is, before he could get the wig off, Baldwin sexually assaulted four women. 

Production on the Apple car is running into problems. For example, they did away with the windshield and instead are selling you $200 tiny little monocle-like eye shields. 

“The Daily News” claims Donald Trump repeatedly lied about contributing money to charities for 9/11 victims. “And yet the press ignores how Trump has never, once, sold babies into slavery,” said Trump’s campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway.

On CNN with Anderson Cooper, Melania Trump blamed her husband’s crude comments on being egged on by Billy Bush. Historians will no doubt note the similarity of the time Eleanor Roosevelt went on radio to say F.D.R. was goaded into comments about wantonly grabbing female genitalia. 

Since you asked:

Here is a little perspective on polls. Not including the BS online polls, real polls are conducted by a qualified pollster and they are done one-on-one in person.  And they take time. 

So when asked on the street if they want to participate, most people say, “No thanks.” “Sorry, don’t have time.” “Not today.” Who are those people probably voting for? Hillary.

When asked if they want to participate in a poll, I am guessing most Trump followers say something along the lines of, “F*ckng-A right, buddy.” 

So the polls might be a little skewed. 

Historically there has never been such a huge lack of interest for the probable presidential election winner. And the polls cannot flesh that fact out. 

No Room For Locker Room Talk

This is also why Donald Trump excusing what he said to Billy Bush as locker room talk is so egregious.

There is a huge difference between a locker room of a real athletic team and a clubhouse/locker room at a country club or fancy gym. Any un-athletic, loud-mouth jerk who can write a check can be in a country club/gym locker room. Trump has only been in the latter. And on a bus with a fellow douche bag.

In a real team sports locker room, you all have earned the right to be there. It is a place of honor that you respect. And drawing attention to yourself with the kind of bragging Trump did would get you hung by your undies from a locker hook. 

Clearly Trump has been neither a team player nor a good athlete.

Having been lucky enough to have been around more than my share of great athletes or “stars” the one thing they all have in common is that they would never call themselves a star. Ever.

When a guy is talking trash in a locker room bragging about how great they are with women to people they don’t know well, the first thing everyone thinks is that they are lying their ass off. At the very least, if they heard someone bragging about grabbing women’s vaginas without asking they would think, 

“What a dick.” And, “I am going to keep this schmuck away from my sister.”

Real studs, guys whom women can’t leave alone, are adamant about not bragging about it. They consider bragging both crass and bad luck.

Now, I am not saying guys do not kiss-and-tell. They do. Just like women. But, like women, they spill the beans to close friends in intimate places like in a bar or having dinner or watching TV. Not in a loud, crowded, sweaty locker room. 

But my friends who were the biggest ladies men never said a word. Not one. It was frustrating. We wanted to know their secrets. 

So Trump excusing his language as locker room talk rings utterly false. Once again. Trump’s idea of a locker room is the locker room that exists in the mind of a-holes who have never been in a real locker room.

Proving once again with total schmucks like Trump, Rudy Giuliani, Howard Stern, Michael Moore, Rush Limbaugh and Chris Christie: there is nothing uglier - besides adolescent boys - than C-Dogs with power pretending to be A-Dogs.

Just eye-guzzled four shows of "Modern Family." That show hasn't quite jumped the shark yet. But they are thinking of buying a shark as a pet and riding it in the ocean like a jet ski. 

And when did Luke start hitting to 'roids? And when did Alex start to look so growns up? And Haley is hotter than your mom. (My mom?)