Saturday, September 17, 2016

A study reveals dogs understand human speech far more than we thought. In tests of word comprehension, dogs scored somewhere between Kim Kardashian and Kourtney Kardashian. 

Halle Berry claims her good looks were a hindrance in her career. This explains Bill Murray’s legendary stardom. 

Donald Trump Jr. said if republicans acted like democrats they would be given the gas chamber. Trump Jr. claimed he meant that as a capital punishment reference not a Holocaust reference. Like how we meant to call Trump Jr. a tool instead of a d-bag. 

Louisville destroyed Florida State, 63-20. The last time Florida State players did that badly was on a spelling test. 

Ivanka Trump stormed out of an interview with “Cosmopolitan” because she felt the questions were unfair. Like “Sex, Marry or Kill, Ryan Gosling, Ryan Reynolds and Ryan Lochte?” 

It is the one year anniversary of when archeologists found the skeletons of a couple that have been holding hands for 700 years. They also found the secret to a long, peaceful marriage: being dead. 

The heir to Hostess bought the Playboy Mansion for $100 mil. Hostess and the Playboy Mansion. One is the home of cream-filled treats and the other is Hostess. 

Since you asked:

Re-watched “Fury” and it was good. A condensed tank version of “Saving Private Ryan.” Here is my question: why does Shia LaBouf cry during the entire movie? Now, I am sure art-house film school twinks think his performance was brilliant, but to us less sophisticated movie watchers it was annoying and distracting.