Tuesday, September 13, 2016


North Korea wants to boost tourism. I’ve got their next slogan: 

“Come to Kim Jong Un’s North Korea, where the Tyranny meets the Tranny.” 



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“Sully” is #1 at the box office. “Heroic” said “USA Today.” “Uplifting” said “The New York Times.” “Coldblooded murderers,” said Canadian Geese. 


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In the Panther-Bronco game, Cam Newton was flossing on the bench. That was fine, it was the avocado facial I thought was too much. 

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Donald Trump said he wishes Hillary Clinton a speedy recovery from pneumonia.  It was a little awkward when Trump went on to say, “At least pneumonia is better and old monia.”

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Ryan Lochte made his debut on “Dancing with the Stars.” Ryan was disappointed he did not get to meet Kevin Costner and the dog until someone told him that was “Dances with Wolves.” 

At “Dancing With the Stars” Ryan Lochte was rushed by an audience member who was tackled by security.  Or as Ryan described it, "I was attacked by an ISIS commando raid, but fought them off."

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“US News & World Report” came up with their annual college list. Trump University rated somewhere between a Turkish prison riot and a bad case of dysentery.