Thursday, September 15, 2016

The Cleveland Browns, whose mascot is a dog, may sign convicted dog killer, Michael Vick. That would be like the Miami Dolphins hiring Japanese fisherman.

A study reveals dolphins carry on conversations with sentences with up to five words in length. That is two more words than Kardashians can do. 

As a result, a dolphin has been hired as a speech writer for Donald Trump.

Hacked emails of Colin Powell reveal he called Donald Trump a pariah. It was awkward, when told Trump said, “Sweet. Doesn’t Ferrari make the Pariah?” 

Donald Trump released his medical information to Dr. Oz. Next Trump is going to reveal his bald head to Dr. Phil. 

Hacked emails of Colin Powell, reveal he called Donald Trump  “A national disgrace.” “Hey, you take that back,” said national disgraces.

“Dancing with the Stars” was interrupted by two protesters charging Ryan Lochte. The protestors were detained by security but not before they inflicted serious damage. To Ryan’s underwear. 

The picture they thought was two male lions having sex was a male lion having sex with a rare female lion with a mane. They have a name for a female lion that looks like a male: It’s called a Caitlyn.

Hacked emails of Colin Powell reveal he said Bill Clinton was still “dicking bimbos.” Coincidentally, “Dicking Bimbos”is the name of Justin Bieber’s next single. 

Polls indicate Hillary Clinton is ahead of Donald Trump with Jews by 42%. And that is just wholesale. Retail is even higher.

Hacked emails of Colin Powell reveal he called Donald Trump a pariah. To which Trump replied, “How dare he call me a man-eating fish.”

In concert, Kid Rock cursed Colin Kaepernick for protesting the National Anthem. No word yet if this offended Kid Rock’s black fans. Carl and Evan.

Since you asked:

Donald Trump does a lot of Trump-like things. But the most Trumpian of the Trumpish things Trump has done in a while is to buy a six-foot portrait of himself - that he commissioned to be donated for a fundraiser for his charity - with $20,000 that was donated to his charity. 

First of all, who commissions a six foot painting of themselves? 

And then Trump tells the artist to donate it to his charity. The only thing that isn’t shocking about this is that nobody at the fundraiser bid on the ugly-ass painting of Trump. So, to save The Donald from humiliation,  Melania paid $20,000 for the ugly-ass painting and paid for it with the charity’s money.  

Got that? $20,0000 donated to the charity by regular folks, the Trump’s used to buy the over-sized painting of Trump they insisted the artist paint for the charity for free. 

And then Trump gave the painting as a gift and wrote off the $20,000 “donation” on his taxes. 

So, to review, Trump ripped off the artist, the people who donated $20,000 to his charity, he ripped off the needy cause his charity was supposed to give the $20,000 to, and he ripped off the IRS. 

Even Bernie Madoff is calling that a full day.