Errrrrrrrr merrrrrrrrrrrrrrr geerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd

The IOC announced it will add surfing to the 2020 Tokyo Olympics. That is amazing. I did not know surfers knew how to bribe.

Now the Olympic motto will be: “Faster, Higher, Stronger, Gnarlier.” 

A British dentist claims flossing is not all that beneficial. In a related story, a French hygienist said body odor is sexy and an Italian military expert said retreating is brave. 

The British dentist went on to add four out of five of his patients don’t even floss their five or six remaining teeth. 

Pokemon Go was just launched in the Olympic Village. “That is great news,” said the 10,000 hot athletes too busy training and having sex to play Pokemon Go.

Donald Trump’s latest poll numbers are bad. To give you an idea how bad, Trump only used the word huge to describe them five times.

The slogan for the Rio Olympics is “Live Your Passion.” Much better than the first idea: “Does This Look Infected To You?” 

Kris Jenner broke her wrist in a car accident near her home. She’s under doctor’s orders not to do anything. She’s been practicing her whole life. 

It’s tough, Kris will have to call her butler, chef, driver, maid and personal assistant with the other hand. 

The slogan for the Rio Olympics is “Live Your Passion.” Much better than the first idea: “Cincuenta Dolares a Largo Tiempo” which means “50 dollars long-time.”

The slogan for the Rio Olympics is “Live Your Passion.” Much better than the first idea: “Drink this, it will kill the bacteria.” 

The slogan for the Rio Olympics is “Live Your Passion.” Much better than the first idea: “You Might Want To Wear Two Condoms.” 

The slogan for the Rio Olympics is “Live Your Passion.” Much better than the first idea: “There’s diarrhea and then there’s diarrheeeeeeea. ” 

A new theory has popped up on why Donald Trump will not release his tax returns.  Four words: Russian Goat Porn Revenue.