Sumpin’ funky ‘bout da funky about to funk-down, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Matt Lauer just bought Richard Gere’s Hamptons estate for $36.5 mil. Hamster cages included.

There was a 6.2 earthquake in Italy. It was so strong, it shook an Italian man’s hand off an American tourist woman’s ass. 

KFC has a sunscreen that smells like fried chicken. “That is the greatest idea ever,” said sharks.

Donald Trump is courting minority voters by claiming he is not a racist. He likes the blacks. Especially his black. Where is my black?   

Funny words:

Egg

Banana

Monkey

Donkey

Funky

Spunky

Soap

Ball

Biscuit

Balloon

Baboon

Bassoon 

Hijinks 

Spittoon

Tamborine

Trampoline

Pants

Kerfuffle 

Drawers

Stinky

Throwdown

Pajamas

Pie

Pudding

Pinky

Hat

Shoes

Pinky

Bingo

Spy

Watermelon

Cookie

Poop

Bear

Carp

Trout

Bunny

Puppy

Galoshes 

Pinky. (Yes, I said Pinky three times. Deal with my real)



Do you hear that wonderful sound? It is the wonderfulness of Ryan Lochte shutting the hell up.