Saturday, June 04, 2016

Johnny Manziel is being sued for $40,000 in damages to a Hollywood Hills home after he threw a party. That is when you know things are going bad for a quarterback, when they throw a party and it gets intercepted and returned against them.

At a California rally, Donald Trump pointed to a black man and said, “There’s my African American.” Trump was relieved because he thought he had lost him.

Many are skeptical he is Trump's African American. He does not have Trump's name on him. 

Since you asked:

This Chicago Cubs game is bringing back so many fond memories. The game during the off and on soft summer rain. The ball lost in the ivy. Throwing the other team’s homer on to the field. The Old Style beers in plastic cups. Sneaking off to the bathroom to have sex with two hookers. (Just seeing if you’re paying attention. It was one hooker) 

When you walk into Wrigley Field there are so many senses and feelings. You smell the steaming hot dogs, the mustard, the spilled beer, the cigar smoke. Then when you walk out to your seat, the smell of cut grass.  The sounds of the crack of the bats and the pop of the gloves. 

The other day against the Dodgers the Cubs were going full "The Natural" with the sun setting between the third base bleachers and the little bugs lit up by the sun. All that was missing was Glenn Close in her bee-keeping hat. 

Upgrading my Cubs nickname for Addison Russell from the obvious “Street” to “Avatar Street.” Why Avatar? Because Addison looks like his eyes want to start seeing other people. 

When Anthony Rizzo cracked the game-clinching homer, I yelled "Rizz-Bone" so loud my sore back cracked/adjusted. Bless you, Rizz-Bone, you are doing god's work. 

The story says Clay Tres, so nice they named him thrice, C cubed, Clay Matthews III, to return to his natural position. You mean firmly ensconced in my heart? (Sorry, was that out loud?) 

Excited about the Sharks game tonight. Duh duh . . . duh duh . . . duh duh, duh duh, duh duh. 

The definition of bitter sweet: the last sip of coffee of the day. 

Muhammad Ali was the greatest boxer of all time. That is enough.  

Mourning is when you feel like you no longer have a place to put all of your love for someone. 

Don’t ask me how I know this, just trust me. My dog Wally is afraid of human farts. 

“Never seen a man go through a day so fast.” 

-- From “Cat Ballou” Michael Callan’s character, Clay Boone, when Lee Marvin’s character, Kid Shelleen, wakes up, chugs a bottle of whiskey and passes out. 

When we went to Mammoth Mountain Ski Resort by Mammoth Lakes on Mammoth Mountain, replete with emblems of woolly mammoths, what my buddy, Kevin, i.e. Uncle Homey, said about the 20ft high bronze mammoth statue in front:

"I'll meet you out by the elephant." 

Happy 45th Birthday to Mark “Marky Mark” Wahlberg. While no little tiny person has done more with their ambition and less talent other than Madonna, let us not forget Marky Mark beat an old Vietnamese man half blind and half dead just for the racist fun of it. That makes Mark Wahlberg one of the biggest a-holes who has ever lived outside of Nazi Germany.