Tuesday, May 17, 2016

A man in Boston received a penis transplant. Speaking of attaching a penis to someone, Donald Trump could pick Chris Christie as his running mate. 

Dr. Ben Carson his helping Donald Trump’s pick running mates. Carson was going to take a stab at being the running mate, but he hit the belt buckle my mistake. 

A man in Boston received the first fully successful penis transplant. For “Game of Thrones” fans this is known as a reverse Theon. 

His wife can’t wait to have sex with him and cheat on him at the same time. 

In the early ’90’s, Donald Trump impersonated a fake publicist, John Miller, in order to brag about financial and sexual conquests that never happened. In other words, Trump lied about who and what he was in order to lie about his lies. Even Bernie Madoff said, “Wow, that is some serious lying.” 

Since you asked:

Strunk and White’s “The Elements of Style” quote of the day. Chapter III:

Nouns used as verb. Many nouns have been pressed into service lately as verbs. Not all are bad, but all are suspect.

When I think of  nouns used as a verb it reminds me of a buddy - whom I don’t see anymore - who, although was a good guy, he had a tendency to put on airs. Whenever he so much as made dinner for his girlfriend, he would announce he was “Hosting a dinner party.” 

You can tell a great deal about a person by asking them who their favorite Beatle is. It is proper to say there is no wrong answer. But there are answers that are better than others. 

The best answer is to say you can’t name a favorite Beatle. It would be like naming which child or parent you loved better.

The worst answer is to say, “I don’t like the Beatles.” Those people can be dismissed out of hand. Primarily because there is a good chance they’re serial killers. There are not many absolutes in the world, but anyone who does not like the Beatles is an absolute jerk.

(The other possible awful answer is, "I don't know who the Beatles are," which is also a factor as to why our world is doomed) 

For me the answer of favorite Beatle is George. And I mean it. His early solo work was the best. “All Things Must Pass” was one of my first album purchases. “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” was my favorite Beatles song right with “Yesterday,” "Let It Be" and “Hey Jude.”  

Paul is the easiest answer for favorite Beatle because he was was the cutest and he sang many of their best songs. He was my favorite before George became my favorite right during the movie "Concert For Bangladesh)

John is the answer for people who think they’re deep and intellectual. Whether they are deep and intellectual is another matter entirely. The main fact is they think they’re deep and intellectual. 

To be candid, I was never a fan of John. Granted I started being aware of him when he was really going out of his way to be strange. Those round granny glasses I did not like at all.  And he was so whipped by that creepy and disturbing psycho, Yoko. All of that was off-putting. 

Although “Imagine” was beyond great and absolved John of his many "Whatever Gets You Through the Night" sins. 

There was a side of John that was angry and mean. His outward contempt and mocking of Paul’s “Ram” album was cruel and unnecessary.   

Ringo, as wonderful as he is, is the answer of favorite Beatle for pain-in-the-ass contrarians. Ringo is beyond lovable, but he is nobody’s favorite Beatle. Unless you’re a drummer.  Ringo was underrated as a drummer. 

And the Beatles are not my favorite band. 

There is no denying the Beatles' seismic impact on not only music, but the world. No other band will ever come close to duplicating it. There are no other great rock bands without the Beatles. Period. 

But my favorite bands are, in order, the Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, whatever band Eric Clapton is in and the Eagles. The fact is I just missed loving the Beatles by a few years. They were my older brother’s peer’s band. (Not my brother’s band. His band was Gilbert and Sullivan, but that is another story) 

By the time I became a big music fan at around ten, the Beatles had stopped touring and were on their way out. And I thought all of that LSD “Yellow Submarine” crap was self-indulgent.

Like Elvis and Frank Sinatra, I have come to appreciate the Beatles much more over time. But either you were in love with a band as a youth or you weren’t.  

Just because I was not in love with the Beatles does not mean I did not love them. (“I love you, I am not in love with you,” was the lame-ass line I got in high school from the first girl who ever dumped me. Spoiled brat) 

The Beatles, even though they weren't my favorite band, were one of the greatest things that ever happened in our lives. Their unfailingly brilliant message of peace and love came at a time when our world was desperately lacking both.  

But George was the best one.