Sunday, May 22, 2016

We won’t be broke if they get woke to the joke, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Exaggerator, won the Preakness by 3 1/2 lengths. Of course he said he won by seven lengths. 

Taco Bell is going to redecorate their restaurants. The look they’re going for is the Not Chipotle. 

In the process of questioning Hillary Clinton’s intelligence in a tweet, Donald Trump misspelled judgment. What a moran. 

In Florida, a 57-year-old woman was hospitalized after a shark took what experts call an exploratory bite of her thigh. That is the shark equivalent of just wanting to try your dessert. 

According to a survey by WeVibe, the celebrity men masturbated the most to is Jennifer Lopez. So congratulations to J-Lo for winning the Pee Wee Herman award. 

No lie, Exaggerator, won the Preakness. Exasperater caused problems but did not place. And Excavator dug in, but ended up in a hole. 

Eric Clapton, Bob Dylan and Tom Petty released new albums this week. Yeah, I got the message on my beeper. 

You can download them on iTunes, buy the CD, the mini CD, the cassette tape, the eight-track or the vinyl record. 

Since you asked:

This is not from Strunk and White’s “The Elements of Style,” but I hate the word physicality. Well known woman-beater, Jim Brown, talked about how he had to use his physicality to beat his son in basketball. Pretty sure that is a bullshit term covering for child abuse. 

Adding ity to a word doesn’t make it better or you smarter. Same goes with Negativity and Positivity. Although I do have to say, tonight my dog, Wally, was being awfully Wallyity tonight.  Or is it Walyalititity?