Sunday, May 01, 2016

12 Signs Being Ladylike Is Not Your Forte

YouTube stars, (whatever that means) Grace Helbig* and Hannah Hart, star in a remake of the failed '70's TV show  “Electra Woman and Dyna Girl.” It is the first show in digital history made without a studio and it appears to have neither a network nor a channel.  (At least the talk show I produced in my basement in third grade with Howie Detmer, the “Alex and Howie Show,” appeared in my basement)

And yet Grace Helbig and Hannah Hart have appeared at Comic Con and other sci-fi, Cosplay (Costume play) and graphic comic conventions and promotions to support their show. In addition, they have given numerous interviews to many nerd/geek/hipster/stoner/video game oriented websites. 

NBC promoted “Seinfeld” as a show about nothing. Well, “Electra Woman and Dyna Girl” takes that concept to several new Millennial levels. It is a show about nothing made by nobody, produced by no one and appearing nowhere. (Not even on a podcast streaming on your latest hand-held douche-device) 

Either this is the greatest practical joke of the digital era or there is an entire alternative nerd universe that exists out in the ether where someone pretends something exists and, as a result of superpower-like entitlement, it does exist. 

(Sticking finger in ear pretending to get an update off-camera)

What's that? We're now being told "Electra Woman And Dyna Girl" is available for $4.99 a month streaming on something called "Fullscreen." Say again? We just checked and there is no such thing as "Fullscreen." 

The entire cast and crew probably consisted of wool-hat-wearing, twenty-something vegans who have no discernible means of support yet they are slightly overweight, hungover with runny post-coke-noses. And they have iPhones and drive Prius. Priuses. PraiI. 

And it somehow involves Steve Agee and it has a fairly large promotional budget. 

Somewhere between Echo Park with their fake lake and Silver Lake with their fake park, a man-bun wearing hipster’s genius caused his overly-caffeinated brain to tear a fissure in the seventh dimension which allows non-stars to make noncommercial non-sellout digital productions for the sake of art's sake funded by commodities based on futures contracts backed by bitcoins. 

If they are hiring a comedy writer, I would love not to write for them. 

Oh, and can I get paid in cash? Upfront. 

* (Have been a huge Grace Helbig fan since I saw the BuzzFeed video “12 Signs Being Ladylike Is Not Your Forte”) 

P.S. Just Googled “Electra Woman And Dyna Girl” production company, Legendary Digital Networks or LDN. Their mission statement was a one paragraph attempt at winning “Bullshit Bingo” with words like the new artist noun "creatives," the terms forward-thinking and foster engagement. With a straight face. 

Let's all join the circle-jerk and grab a member.

P.P.S. Are we going to dance all night with your hand on my ass or are you going to make your move? 


If Millennials had a Mount Rushmore, Steve Agee's head would be on it. 

(For more on "Electra Woman and Dyna Girl" check them out on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest, Instagram, Google Plus, Vine, Tumblr, Flickr, NetKra, Streemeze, Interpod and SqooBsnak. . . 

 . . . and yes, I made up NetKra, Streemeze, Interpod and SqooBsnak)