Tuesday, April 05, 2016

In Hong Kong, a man built a Scarlett Johansson robot. The robot even talks. It’s first words were, “Get the hell away from me, you creepy weirdo.” 

A dead body was found in Disneyland Paris. The found the corpse in the Paris historical attraction: Surrender Land.

A Florida man led police on a high speed chase and was found to have drugs and a handcuff key hidden in his rectum. Or as they call that in Florida: a triple play. 

Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna are engaged. They’re serious about getting married. They’ve already picked out their divorce lawyers.

North Korea is banning Facebook, YouTube and Twitter. So good luck finding tasty dog recipes for Father’s Day. 

Alaska Air is buying Virgin Air. They were going to merge the letters in Alaska and Virgin to name the company, but the anagram came out Karl’s Vagina. 

One of the rich celebrities in the shady off-shore money information leak called the Panama Papers is Jackie Chan. Chan said, “We are not part of a financial scam.” That or he said, “Weezer narrate party offend a fistful of clams.”