A picture of Jennifer Lawrence shooting a basketball horribly has gone viral. Her shot was so bad, she was immediately signed by the Lakers.

Apparently El Chapo has gained a lot of weight since he has been back in prison. He had to order this tunnel built in a husky size. 

Box office for “Batman V. Superman” down 80% from opening . Might put their plans on hold for the follow-up, “Santa Claus V. Easter Bunny.”

In Wisconsin, a stripper was arrested for biting a man’s crotch during a lap dance. To put it in Wisconsin town terms, she bit him in his Tomahawk as well as his Sheboygan’s. 

(Here we have more species-elevating hot takes) 


Since you asked:

Abby Wambach has done so much for women's soccer, the USA, kids, the Olympics, gay rights. I'm not saying DUI's are not serious, of course they are, but Abby has owned up to her mistake. She deserves a goddamn break.

But no, Abby's sponsors, like Nike did with Maria Sharapova, are jumping like rats off the Titanic. (To their credit, Nike is still with Abby. As of now)