At the debate, Hillary Clinton wore a blue dress and a pearl necklace. Now, I don’t want to say a blue dress with a pearl neckless is an obvious Monica Lewinsky joke, but Hillary was also wearing knee pads.

In Florida, a drunk, half-naked woman crashed her car into a Waffle House. You know what this means? Tiger Woods is dating again. 

Donald Trump appeared with steak from his line of steaks that went out of business nine years ago. Or as Chipotle calls nine-year-old steak: carne con mucho tiempo. 

In Florida, a drunk, half-naked woman crashed her truck into a Waffle House. On the bright side, Florida now has a new #1 country song.