Justin Bieber kicked out of a Mexican ruin for no-pants selfie. And still we seriously wonder why the rest of the world hates us. 

Justin Bieber kicked out of a Mexican ruin for no-pants selfie. Bieber left Mexico with a serious case of Verge De La Grande Cabeza: He is a huge dickhead. 

In their playoff loss to Kansas City, Houston’s Brian Hoyer threw four interceptions and had a fumble. He was scarier than Ricky Gervais hosting the Golden Globes.

Not sure about Donald Trump’s handle on foreign policy. When he met his Slovanian wife Melania, he thought she worked for a light bulb company. 

New BFFs, Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence are presenting at the Golden Globes. They accomplished everything this year except keeping their sex number down. Bet that thing shot up into Paris Hilton digits. Combined it is higher than my golf score. And I am a terrible golfer. 

At a party, I overheard a “friend” talking smack about me and a friend behind our backs. He said I was a narcissist. Don’t remember what he said about my friend.