Justin Bieber kicked out of a Mexican ruin for taking a no-pants selfie. Sorry guy who stole an e-cigarette and got away on a hover-board, this is now the doucheiest crime of the year.

A study claims drinking red wine increases your test scores. Especially if you are taking a test on how to have sex with an unattractive person. 

HBO is going to make a movie of their series “Deadwood.” But first they will have to borrow a bucket of F-words from Quinten Tarantino. 

In Alaska, girlfriends of a 14-year-old girl invited her for a sleepover, brutally beat her and posted a video of the beating on YouTube. Police have not arrested the girls, but they do plan to extradite them to Florida. 

El Chapo is arrested. Well it is about time they arrested that lousy tipper, Tiger Woods. Oh, sorry, I thought it read they arrested El Cheapo.  

A man was arrested for planning to kidnap President Obama’s dog, Bo. I’m sorry, but this time Donald Trump has gone too far.

A study claims watching porn makes you less motivated. In a related story, Bill Clinton just did not feel like campaigning for Hillary today.

The Mexican drug lord who tunneled out of prison, El Chapo, has been re-captured. And this time they even took away his shovel. 

The Mexican drug lord who tunneled out of prison, El Chapo, has been re-captured. This guy is despised by the Mexican authorities. Why? His name El Chapo is Spanish for “The Donald.”

A study claims watching porn makes you less motivated. The study goes on to claim something else I will read after I take a nap.

The Mexican drug lord who tunneled out of prison, El Chapo, has been captured again. And this time the Mexican authorities won’t believe the construction crew outside the prison that claims it is installing a Jacuzzi. 

Justin Bieber was kicked out of Mexican ruins for dropping his pants. Justin is lucky he was not tossed in prison. He could have been the chap for El Chapo.


Since you asked:

Not sure why Don Henley won’t fess up to this, but I know what “Hotel California” is written about. (Excuse my preposition) 

It was a classic “Twilight Zone” show. 

A traveling salesman grows weary on a California desert highway and decides to check into an old, quant Hotel in a tiny desert town.

When he pulls into the town he sees a big banner over the street that says;

“Barbecue Tonight at the Hotel.”

Everybody he sees in town is delighted to see him to the point of being creepy about it. They all have almost scary smiles plastered on their face. He enquires about the barbecue and they assure him it is tonight and it will be great.  

When he goes into his room he is shocked to see the room is a bare, cement cell. The door slams and locks behind him. The room starts getting hotter and hotter. 

When he looks out the door window of his room into the hall, he sees all the town ghouls smiling at him holding knives and forks with napkins tied around their necks. 

That is when he realizes he is what is being barbecued for the big barbecue.