Tuesday, June 02, 2015

The head of FIFA, Sepp Blatter, resigned. It turns out his Blatter was underinflated.

After 14 FIFA officials were indicted, the president of FIFA, Sepp Blatter, resigned. That is like the captain of the Titanic announcing he is taking a sick day.

In London, Monday was World Naked Bike Ride. Which makes this: “Don’t buy a used bike in London” week.

Donald Trump claims he has a plan to defeat ISIS. Some suspect Trump’s plan is to simply take something from the side and sweep it over ISIS and blast it with hair spray to try and cover it up.

“Vanity Fair” will not rest until they have a picture of a naked and pregnant Caitlyn Jenner on the cover.

In Israel, a 65-year-old woman gave birth to a baby. She has a great deal of crying and diaper changing in her future, and besides her husband, she has to take care of the baby.

Candidate Bernie Sanders criticized billionaires saying they can’t have it all. Upon hearing this, billionaires were so upset they spit out their lobster, caviar, Kobe beef and truffle sandwich.

In China, a man sued his wife over their ugly children because she did not disclose she had $100,000 worth of plastic surgery. Upon hearing about suing over their ugly children, “Duck Dynasty” patriarch, Phil Robertson said; ‘You can do that?”

That is going to be one awkward Father’s Day.

Tom Hanks son, Chester - a rapper named Chet Haze -  demands to use the N-word. A rich white kid rapper using the N-word. And we Americans really wonder why other countries don’t like us.