Adrian Peterson went on a Twitter rant at not being traded by the Minnesota Vikings. Although I am not an agent, I can’t help but feel Peterson’s bargaining position would be better had he not beaten his four-year-old son bloody with a stick.

A 46-year-old Florida woman, Rachel Salters, was arrested for hitting her 12-year-old son in the head with a sack of potatoes. She was charged with domestic aggravated assault and impersonating the Irish.

Merriam-Webster is adding 1700 new words including photo-bomb, meme and emoji. Given those selections, I am surprised the word Hipstouche, for Hipster-Douche, did not make it.

A California man, Webster Lucas, is suing McDonalds for $1.5 million because he only received one napkin. Lucas’s lawyer cannot believe this great case fell in his lap.

In London, “Furious Pete” a Canadian competitive eater, ate the world’s most expensive $2,000 hamburger in 30 seconds. He set a new record and was awarded a “Lord, I am Huge Tool” t-shirt.