Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Due to the riots, the Orioles played the Chicago White Sox in front of an empty Baltimore stadium. Both teams said it was tough. Almost as tough as if they had been traded to the Florida Marlins.

Dallas has a Hooter’s style restaurant for women with scantily-clad male waiters. The place is called Tallywackers. “Hi, ladies, my name is Mike, I’ll be your waiter and my eyes are up here.”

Dallas has a Hooter’s style restaurant for women called Tallywackers with scantily-clad male waiters. “Hi, ladies, my name is Mike, I’ll be your waiter and while, I am glad to see you, yes, that is a banana in my pants.”

Since you asked:

Had a marathon Netflix session of “My Boys.” Wildly underrated show.

First of all, the lead, Jordano Spiro, as P.J., is a true star. Beautiful, great comedy chops. You cannot take your eyes off her if she is on the screen. All the boys are great, but Jim Gaffigan steals every scene he is in. Michael Bunin “Kenny” is on the top of my list of comedic actors with “The League” actor Nick Kroll. With Bunin there is none of that way-over-the-top crap you get so much in “How I met your Mother.”

“My Boys” is ahead of its time in bashing “Sex and the City.” P.J. is a guy’s girl without being a cartoon. Not as dorky as “New Girl” and nowhere near as many vagina jokes as “Whitney” or “Inside Amy.”

"My Boys" carries on the hallowed tradition set by - wait for Herald Angels trumpets - "Cheers" of having a great neighborhood bar as a central meeting place. This is also used in "Who I Met Your Mother"and sort of with "Friends" only with a , cough, coffee bar.  

“My Boys” was ahead of “Parks and Recreation” in its praise of the Midwestern values of meat and booze and it is a love letter to the city of Chicago and the Cubs and Bears. Plus “My Boys” had hipster/douche-bag jokes before “New Girl.” With great insider jokes about the suburbs like Lake Forest and my hometown of Winnetka without the Hollywood hype they threw in on “Sisters.”

On “Sisters” they had a terrorist/ hostage stand off at the corner of Elm Street (My street growing up) and Green Bay. The closest thing to a terrorist/ hostage stand off at Elm and Green Bay was when a cat was stuck in a tree.   

As a result “My Boys” shares a lot of good qualities with “The League.”

On the downside, the Jordano’s narrator baseball metaphors get old, and whoever played the harmonica on the theme song sucked. Bruce Willis on harmonica sucked.

Some great cameos by Ryan Reynolds, Johnny Gallecki and Laurie Metcalf.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are really going to take Jameis Winston first? How many Ryan Leaf’s, Johnny “Football” Manziel’s, Vince Young’s and JaMarcus Russell’s does the NFL have to have before they learn?

If a player cannot make it through the insanely coddled world of being a star at a top college football program without issues or incidents, he has zero chance of making it in the NFL.


Forget who the player was, but he was a smart guy from Northwestern who made it to the NFL. He could not wait to get to the NFL because Northwestern, like Stanford, does not coddle its division one football players. Northwestern football players really have to go to classes and those classes are tough.

So he thought the NFL was going to be a paid vacation to play football. He said he could not have been more wrong. It was just as hard as Northwestern when you combined the depth and complexity of the playbook, the different schemes and strategies, the endless audibles and all the film studying.  And then the public relations responsibilities including the press and charity work.

Imagine some prima donna from Southern Louisiana Tech State who hasn’t seen the inside of a classroom since high school and whose coach calls every play wandering into that environment?

Vince Young scored a 7 the first time he took the Wonderlic test. Cats walking across laptop keyboards score higher than that. Everyone anyone talked to who knew Ryan Leaf at Washington State said the guy was a world-class tool.

If Jeffery Dahmer had a strong arm, the NFL would have described him as “Just needs to brush up on some locker room social skills and gain a little maturity.”

Tim Tebow, on the other hand, is the closest thing the NFL will ever get to Mandela in cleats, and because he has a slight case of throws-like-a-girl-osis, the NFL avoids him like he is Typhoid Mary.