Thursday, March 19, 2015

A really good creative writing teacher once told us, when you get discouraged, remember that, at some point, you’re have written better in your life than your favorite writer. That is true for many things. My band was doing better at the end of our run than the Eagles were when they started.

Guys, if you don’t believe this is true? Look at these two guys down here:

Yes, the top is George Clooney. The kid in the first row holding the basketball in the middle in the Prince Valiant/Rachel-from-"Friends" 'Do? Brad Pitt. 

Here are two of your "People" magazine's Sexiest Man Alive winners. 

Rumor has it Arnold Schwarzenegger’s son is cheating on his girlfriend, Miley Cyrus. And I didn’t even know Miley had a maid.

South African surgeons performed the first successful penis transplant. When asked to comment, the recipient said; “If it was so successful how come it goes up and down with the garage door?”

Starbucks and USA Today have teamed up to address race issues. What better companies to address race issues than the only two products used more by white people than Ikea, Radio Shack and the Olive Garden.

The Art Institute of Chicago is giving Kanye West an honorary doctorate. Now Kanye can join those other celebrities who use a phony Dr. in their name like Dr. Dre, Dr. Pepper, Dr. Bill Cosby, Dr. J., Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz.

Now it looks like Al Gore will join Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush in the 2016 campaign. If the campaign gets anymore ‘90’s it will be sponsored by America Online and Windows 95.

A Nevada bill would allow dogs to use medical marijuana. Because my dog doesn’t spend enough time begging for snacks and lying on the couch and scratching himself.

Since you asked:

The city of Carson continues to negotiate with the Oakland Raiders for a stadium. And why not? It’s not like the Raiders have screwed-over a city before. Well, except for Oakland twice, Los Angeles and even Irwindale, a town where they didn’t even play. 

What’s that old expression? Fool me once, shame on you, fool me four times and you’re dealing with the Raiders.