Researchers in Oregon claim drunk birds slurr their songs. Not only that, but once the birds are drunk, they want to go to a Karaoke bar and sing “Feelings.”

Cleveland Browns backup, QB, Johnny Manziel, was fined for missing a practice. So, in short order, he has gone from Johnny “Football” to Johnny “Bench” to Johnny “My agent won’t return my calls.”

37-year-old Dustin Diamond, who played Screech in “Saved by the Bell,” was arrested  for stabbing a man in a bar. This is not a shock. Screech’s “Saved by the Bell” catch-phrase was “I will cut a bitch.”

In Florida, a woman died after it was discovered she had a crack pipe and other items hidden in her vagina. Or as they call that in Florida: dying of natural causes.

Since you asked:

If the NFL is serious about their attempts at cracking down on violence, domestic as well as on the field, then they need to do way more than suspend Detroit Lions Dominic Raiola and Ndamukong Suh for one lousy game for intentionally stomping on people.

Both players are unrepentant filthy, dirty thugs and need to be severely punished. Gone for the rest the year at least.

In honor of Suh intentionally stepping on Aaron Rodgers, Subway is announcing a new sandwich. It is a foot-long Grinder, or “The Foot Grinder.”