A French man claims he has invented a pill that makes passed gas smell sweeter. The pill is called; “It Didn’t Work.”

A 30-year-old woman from Arizona suffers from a disorder that gives her six hours of orgasms a day. To relieve her symptoms, six times a day, she takes absolutely nothing.

In Florida, a man died when he pulled a gun on his wife and accidentally shot himself in the face.  Police ruled it justifiable homicide.

The Midwest is still in a cold snap. People are shaking like Bill Cosby saying the Thanksgiving prayer.

A sidebar in “Entertainment Weekly” showed how an anaconda can eat a human being and that process is not pleasant. First it attacks you, then it crushes you, then it devours you. Just like a date with Bill Cosby.

80-year-old mass-murder, Charles Manson, is marrying a 26-year-old woman. It’s cute, he calls her his other ball and chain.

80-year-old mass-murder, Charles Manson, is marrying a 26-year-old woman. It’s cute, he’s happier than Bill Cosby eating a pudding pop on a blind date.

A 30-year-old woman from Arizona suffers from a disorder that gives her six hours of orgasms a day. Well, maybe suffers isn’t the right word.

A 30-year-old woman from Arizona suffers from a disorder that gives her six hours of orgasms a day. When her doctor proscribed medication to relieve her, she proscribed the doctor should mind his own damn business.

The day before Thanksgiving is biggest day of the year for bar business. There is a term for it. It is called: In-Law Endurance Inebriation.

Miraculously he is going to be fine, but there is a video of a man in China who gets hit over and over again by cars and trucks. Must refrain from making inappropriate Asian driving jokes. Ahh.

One of my extremely credible Hollywood gossip sources said it was a long and well-known fact among women who work in the entertainment field that you don’t ever, ever go into a room alone with the great Dr. William Henry Cosby Jr.

Me? I’m just upset. Bill Cosby was my comedy idol. With Bruce Jenner, Larry "Drunk A-hole" Csonka, OJ Simpson and now Bill Cosby, I keep thinking of the famous proverb: may you never meet your heroes.

On the bright side, I have met some of my heroes who more than lived up to my expectations. (My mom and dad are included without saying)

Rafer Johnson. At the Montreal Olympics, he was the anti-Bruce Jenner. Generous with his time, thoughtful and impressive.

Robert Plant. Could not have been nicer or cooler. He put me right at ease and was amazingly kind and open.

Bill Toomey. He was a real nice guy. Kind of goofy, but nice.

Mark Messier. Although I am stretching to say he was a hero of mine, I was not a huge hockey fan, he was so impressive when I met him I had to include him. Funny, smart, nice, but he had a look in his steely blue eyes that said; “I am the real deal.”

Paul Newman. Although physically pretty slight, he was exactly how you would want Paul Newman to be Paul Newman. He was extremely Paul Newman-y in the best way. Never met Robert Redford, but I was kicked out of his bar in Park City. (not for what you think, I didn’t have a dinner reservation and there are laws in Utah)

Fess Parker. Even more impressive than I thought he would be. And I was a huge Daniel Boone fan. Taller too. Throw-back, Santa Barbara California rancher gentleman. Imagine a dashing, handsome, silver-haired tall man who looks like he had just cleaned up after swimming in the ocean and riding horses all day, winding down at sunset with a margarita and come chips and guacamole.

Ernie Banks. Although much more impressed with my cousin Jack’s beautiful, blonde wife, Becky, he was a sweet, old school avuncular class act.

Joe Walsh, Jimmy Buffett, Jackson Browne and Randy Meisner. All were as genuinely friendly as they were chemically gacked-up. (circa 1979) Joe is the only one over six feet.

James Taylor. Almost alarmingly down-to-earth. He struck me as so thoughtful he was almost professorial. The waters run deep with that one.

Gale Sayers. This barely qualifies because, we never met in person, but we corresponded once and I spoke to him over the phone at a fundraising event. But a total class act and gentleman.

Kathy Ireland. Although not exactly a hero, I did sort of worship her in an adolescent boy way. She was more beautiful in person and a real sweetheart. Voice was very high.

Jay Leno. You don’t think nice guys can exist at the top of the entertainment world? He proves this wrong over and over again. Leno is as big as they get and he could not be more sincerely and genuinely nice.

Sam Adams. UCSB track and multi-event expert. The best. Period.