This week a man jumped the White House fence and ran all the way to the White House before he was stopped. One Secret Service agent was so shocked, he fell off of his hooker.

The parents of Honey Boo Boo, Mama June and Sugar Bear, have split up. Truth be told, I thought how Mama June broke up with Sugar Bear was harsh. She stuck a “Dear John” letter inside his bag of pork rinds.

When asked if time apart may get them back together, Sugar Bear said;

“What is time but a mythical social mathematical construct which has no basis in Einstein's theory of relativity?”

Just kidding, he burped, scratched his ass and farted.

Man, I love college football. Well, besides the blow-outs against the cupcakes.

During the Switzer years at Oklahoma, I hated the astroturf/wishbone era. And the Big Ten was boring as dirt with Woody Hayes and his three yards and a cloud of dirt. Now college football is played just like the NFL was ten years ago. They still use running backs.