Archeologists have found a skeleton couple that were holding hands for 700 years. Or as Larry King calls that: foreplay.

Today Scotland voted on independence from Great Britain. It was awkward when Joe Biden said; “Just as long as they don’t leave England or the United Kingdom.”

Charles Barkley threw out the first pitch at Wrigley Field and bounced it. Let's all say it together. That throw was turrrrrrruhbulll.

(J.D. on WGN)

Arizona Cardinal, Jonathan Dwyer, was arrested for aggravated assault after head-butting his wife and breaking her nose. When asked to comment, one NFL executive muttered; “Scotch. We need more Scotch.”