A while ago, two armed older men robbed a Chicago pharmacy of over a thousand dollars worth of Viagra. If caught, the penalty will be stiff.

During a press conference with NFL commissioner, Roger Goodell, a heckler was removed screaming: “Don’t take me to an elevator.”  If that guy really wants to avoid physical abuse, he should refrain from donning a Buccaneer uniform. 

In sad news, the parents of Honey Boo Boo, Mama June and Sugar Bear, have split up. The couple cited irreconcilable incoherence.

Tom Brady’s pre-NFL resume was posted online and it is dull and ordinary. And he embellished. He listed his old job as a dishwasher as A Post-Nutrition Hygiene and Sanitation Engineer.

Things are rough at the NFL. Commissioner, Roger Goodell, is wandering the halls muttering; "$44 mil. a year. $44 mil. a year."