Monday, September 29, 2014

It turns out the White House intruder made it much farther into the White House than we were led to believe. Yeah, he made farther than Joe Biden has ever been.

She’s fine, but Jennifer Lopez’s car was rear-ended Saturday. At first the EMT’s were afraid Lopez was hurt, but then they realized, no, that’s how swollen her butt is normally.

The NFL had a big week. One entire week without one arrest or a criminal charge. Well, that’s if you don’t count the Oakland Raiders. In their 38-14 loss to the Dolphins, they were charged with loitering.