Fox’s new show, “Red Band Society” is about a hospital’s pediatric ward and is narrated by a child in a coma. This explains why Fox rejected my show, “Orphans Who Lost Their Puppies.” It was too upbeat.

The iPhone 6 is reportedly bending in hipsters too-tight, skinny jeans. Which is ironic because I always tell hipsters in skinny jeans to get bent.

After several security breaches, the White House is taking drastic steps to keep people out. Today they re-named the White House, the New York Met’s Citi Field.