At the US Open, golfer Erik Compton finished tied for second. Compton has had two heart transplants. He has had three hearts, that is three more than Tiger Woods.

In Florida, a 450 pound man was arrested when police found marijuana and cocaine hidden in the folds of his stomach. Or as Florida calls this: a typical Father’s Day game of: find the drugs in Daddy’s fat.

A Florida woman (of course) was arrested for trying to smuggle seven lobsters down her pants. She thought it would be a nice change from the usual crabs that were down there. 

Hillary Clinton claims she and Bill were broke when they left the White House. She said they barely financed two multi-million dollar mansions. Do you get the feeling Hillary’s concept of broke is like Bill’s concept of fidelity?

She said they barely financed two multi-million dollar mansions. That’s not broke, Hillary. Broke is when you kept a dead cockroach handy to sneak on the pizza so it would be free.

A Brooklyn Bar held the World’s Smallest Penis Pageant. The winner of the World’s Smallest Penis Pageant has the second worst title only to al Qaeda’s second in command. 

Since you asked:

In these hip and ironic times, you can find lots of folks who can get snarky about anything.

Nobody, and I mean nobody has anything but great things to say about Tony Gwynn.

When Ricky Henderson got on the Padres’ bus, Tony Gwynn told him:

“Sit anywhere, Ricky, you’ve got tenure.” 

Ricky replied;

“Oh, T, you know Ricky got 15 year.” 


I'm not a lawyer, but . . . 

Pretty sure the US Patent office cannot cancel a trademark just because they don't like the name. What if they decided they didn't like the name Nike, or Ford?