Rapper Lil’ Kim had a girl and named her Royal Reign. Apparently the name Therapy For Life was already taken.

Now Donald Sterling says he his not selling the Clippers and he is not dropping his $1 billion lawsuit against the NBA. Roses are red, violets are blue, Sterling is schizophrenic and Sterling is to.

A Japanese clothing maker is in trouble for labeling their pants skinny, fat and jumbo. They have changed it to small, medium, large and Kardashian.

Rapper 50 Cent blamed his errant first pitch on too much masturbation; at publicist school they call this: throwing gas on the fire.

Pitchers throw a curve ball called a yacker. 50 Cent throws a pitch called a whacker.

An Australian man was arrested for driving a motorized beer cooler while intoxicated. He was detained and then extradited to Florida

In addition to the CIA, a tribe of the Taliban is on Twitter and so is the IRS. One is a group of cold-blooded mercenaries and the other is the Taliban.

Since you asked:

The Oxford comma can bite my run-on sentence-writing butt.

One out-of-the-box writing teacher said, while it is important for a good writer to know the rules, flaunting and even breaking the rules can be good too.

There are art critics who believe only the old masters were great painters, and there are art critics who swear by Jackson Pollock.

That is a wide birth. The rules of writing probably fit in between.

It is good to remember writing is an art, but it probably isn’t a good idea to, ala Pollock, fling random words to a page like so many monkeys flinging poop at zoo tourists.

Earnest Hemingway allegedly never turned in a manuscript with a mistake in his life – though that is hard to believe if the account of his drinking are anywhere close. 

And there are great writers and journalist, like Cameron Crowe and the late Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, who turned in assignments written on the back of cocktail napkins and recorded on tape.

Dear Former Blockbuster Clerk with the Dragon Neck Tattoo:

Remember that time you told me the reason the Blu-ray disk would not play on my brand-new Blu- ray player was because it was cheap and unsophisticated and I was too technically unsophisticated to understand why? (It wasn’t, the disk was blank)

How is the job-hunting while sleeping/ masturbating on your mother’s futon?

Just wondering,

Lex