Top Things My Wife Would Say While “Helping” the Malaysian Plane Searchers:

“Did you check both runways? What about the hangers? Sometimes it is in the most obvious place.”

“Where was it the last time you saw it?”

“If you were a missing plane, where would you be?”

“Did you retrace your steps?”

“Well, I certainly did not put it anywhere, if that is what you’re suggesting.”

"It's always in the last place you check." (blood trickles down my lip as I try not to say, "Of course it's in the last place you look. Why would you keep looking after you found it?")

"Are you sure you've checked everywhere?"

"You know what? If you don't appreciate my help, you can look on your own."