We ain’t gonna take no mess up in this address, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

It is hot, I am sweating like an NFL player talking to his parole officer.

Sort of a slow time in sports, baseball has the All Star break, basketball and hockey just ended and football is a couple months away. Or about 20 arrests away.

Sort of a slow time in sports, baseball has the All Star break, basketball and hockey just ended and football is a couple months away. It’s the one time of year all the steroid makers go on vacation.

Since the Super Bowl there have been 33 arrests involving NFL players. “Those NFL players need better self-control, professionalism and discipline;” said the entire crystal meth industry.

American 100 Meter record holder, Tyson Gay, tested positive for a banned substance; Gay confessed saying; “I don’t have any lies.” That’s refreshing. Steroid cheats, Ben Johnson, Marion Jones and Lance Armstrong lied about lying about lying about their lies.

Remember the Peter-Tweeter, Anthony Weiner? He is leading with a recent poll for Mayor of New York. Isn’t leading with a pole what got him in trouble?

Asiana Air is suing a bay area TV station for airing false and racially insensitive names of their Asiana pilots. Here are the names of the three interns at the NTSB who gave those names. Hugh Arscrewed, Wyatt Judewthat, and Cleo Nouturdesk.

Since you asked:

Not that this is going to win me a Nobel Peace Prize, but I believe two of the hottest women celebrities are both over 40. Carmen Electra and Jenny McCarthy.

Sexiness isn’t about age or even looks, although both are very pretty. Sexy is about that quality they have that makes the tuning fork ring in a guy’s – and many girls – groin-al regions. It almost can’t be defined. It just goes without saying a Hitchcock movie, some Chinese food and wine would eventually lead into a serious session of whaggadity, diggity, shnagity, wiggity. Nah, nah, nah.

Mooooooooooon rrrrrrriverrrrrrrrrr.