Whimpy, whompy, wombly, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Scientists discovered a 200-year-old sunken ship off of Texas. It was on this same ship Larry King first honeymooned.

The Royal baby’s name is George Alexander Louis. So the Bay area news station, KTVU, got the names wrong again. They said it would be one of three English names: Hugh Cantcook, Ian Gotnoteeth, and Mike Godyourpale.

There is a new brand of cereal designed to increase sexual endurance; you know Nut & Honey cereal? This is Hold Your Nut & Honey Cereal.

NBC News was allowed inside the CIA’s secret museum that features Osama bin Laden’s AK47 machine gun. It is in great shape, it was never fired and only dropped once.

A British survey claims 62% of women and 48% of men answer the phone during sex; and if the answer was “Oh, nothing much, what are you doing?” the sex stopped 100% of the time.

Florida sophomore linebacker, Antonio Morrison, was arrested after a dispute that started with him barking at a police dog. You got to hand it to that Florida Gator football program, those kids come ready for the NFL.

Lex’s Random Thoughts:

Even I am smart enough to know if you never take a picture of your junk, a picture of your junk can’t get you in trouble. 

We signed up for weekly fresh vegetables from our Farmer’s market? Holy crap, you can eat the cherry tomatoes like grapes. The zucchini on the grill? Amazing.

Glowing red oak wood is now a staple recipe in my cooking. 

Observational comedy is about to run out of observationals.

San Diego mayor, Bob Filner is a carp-faced sicko perv, but even he doesn’t deserve to be a victim of that pit bull sexist media-whore, Gloria Allred.

Everything I grill has been marinated. Meat in either olive oil or Jim Beam marinade. Chicken and pork in apple juice and sea salt. Fish and shrimp in vegetable oil with Old Bay.

Lord help me, but I loves me my World War II documentaries.