Monday, February 18, 2013

I could be wrong, but I’m not, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

A Florida couple on “Strange Addictions” admitted they were hooked on several coffee enemas a day:

“We’ve secretly replaced the regular coffee the Jones’s put up their butts with Folger’s crystals. Let’s see if they noticed.”

Where do they get their coffee? Starbutts.

Guys, you want to know if you had a good Valentines Day? If you’re woman is still speaking to you and you’re not sleeping on the couch? You had a good Valentines Day.

After 150 years, the ugliest woman in history, or the ape woman, was finally buried in her home in Mexico; it was a touching funeral, all the mourners were given bags to put over their faces.

A Florida couple on “Strange Addictions” admitted they were hooked on several coffee enemas a day. Not only that, they get their coffee at Starbucks, so they paid through the butt.

Since you asked:

Very much liked “History of the Eagles.” It was definitely slanted in favor of the surviving Eagles, including Azoff, but, it did give the “Egos” a chance to air their side.

There really are two sides to every story.

One of the great surprises was how much of a sense of humor they all had. Well, besides Azoff. Frey, as it turns out, is damn funny. Always knew Henley was witty, and Joe Walsh goes into the character hall of fame, but all could poke fun at themselves and their amazing situation. Suppose they had to if they wanted to retain any sanity.

As Henley points out with his line; “What do you do when your dreams come true and they’re not quite like you planned?” He said success can be just as disconcerting as failure. 

It truly showed how even being a rock star could be a mixed blessing. For one example: congratulations, you get to have groupies. Reality? Many times the groupies weren’t all that good looking. Or not crazy. (Keith Richards touched on this in his autobiography, “Life”)

Another thing that was amazing was, despite all of their incredible talents, without benefit of playing their own songs, and without much playing time, at the Gallery in Aspen, at times they weren’t very good. 

Witnesses, including the amazing producer of Led Zeppelin and the Rolling Stones, Glyn Johns, said Frey would turn himself so high on his mic and amp, his guitar and voice was all you could hear. Played in a band with a guy who did that. No matter how well everyone else plays, it sounds horrible.

Nothing worse than coming off the stage after playing what you thought was a good solo or riff and having people tell you; “Um, we couldn’t hear you.”

“History of the Eagles” highlighted no matter how huge and great a band becomes, they don’t get there without a lot of help. Bob Seger, Jackson Browne, Linda Rondstadt, David Geffen, Glyn Johns, Kenny Rogers, without all of their considerable help there would have been no Eagles.

But give credit where it is due: without a ton of hard work on top of a ton of talent, the Eagles would not get to where they are by accident. Definite legends. As much as I love Don Felder, for the first time I can see why Frey got so pissed at him in 1980.

There’s no getting around that Frey and Henley acted like dickheads at times. Henley making some poor roadie drag a mattress and his Kimono collection chest, Frey firing a road manager in Europe for bringing him a soft pack of Marlboros instead of a hard box.

But Henley and Frey also gave everyone else their chance. And they were both full-blown coke addicts. Coke is well-known for bringing out the worst in people.

This documentary showed how the Byrds throw-away line “Just get yourself an electric guitar and learn how to play” was indeed a trite myth. It took amazing talent and even harder work. And then a lot of lucky breaks.  

Saw the Eagles at the Forum before "Hotel California" was on the radio. Thought the backdrop of the Beverly Hills Hotel meant the nickname of the Forum was "Hotel California." When Henley started singing "Desperado" goose-bump inducing strings kicked in and the Hotel California backdrop came up revealing the entire L.A. Philharmonic Orchestra. 

And maybe Felder should have let the financial split favor Frey and Henley when the got back together in 1994. In his own bio, Felder admits he turned down an offer to play lead for Henley during Henley’ solo career, because it was for the union standard sideman’s cut. 

Timothy B. Schmidt took sideman gigs with Toto and even Ratt.

Despite all the spats, drugs and egos, in the end all that matters is the music, and the Eagles music was great.

Except for some of that crap on “The Long Run.”

Here are mistakes made from every band 

Starting with that amazingly crappy band playing at the company picnic for $100, to the greatest band, ever, (sorry Led and Beatles, but it is true) the Rolling Stones. 

People turning up their amps higher and higher during the course of the gig. (This problem is usually corrected with a good soundboard guy mixing out in the audience) 

Drummer speeding up the beat.

Singer forgetting lyrics. (Henley did it during their comeback gig)

Mic feedback. (It happened on Bob Marley's live recording of "No Woman No Cry." in "Legends." 

Playing new songs (Truth-be-told, I did not like "Hotel California" the first time I heard it because I had never heard it before. To me it should have been called; "The Only Eagles Songs I Don't Know")

Playing too long on one song. Namely repeating solos too many times. (At a benefit concert, Eric Clapton was sounding so amazing on his solo on "Let it Be" Paul threw back to him three times. On the third time you could see Clapton rolling his eyes in a "Oh, not again" way. John Bonham was the greatest drummer ever, but after five minutes of his drum solo, I wanted to slit my throat)

Anything having to do with "Boston" "Kiss" or "Depeche Mode." Repeat after me, there is no such thing as pseudo-intellectual rock and roll or "performance" rock and roll, i.e., make up and costumes. 

Oh, and I still hate Ted Nugent.