Friday, February 24, 2012

We gonna get our freak-a-deak-asoris on Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Rick Santorum is so conservative, Santorum is actually a Latin word that means: masturbates with condom.

Rick Santorum is so conservative, if you go to the White Folks Café and order a Santorum, you get a Wonder Bread sandwich with American cheese and lots of mayo.

A 53-year-old man had to be pepper-sprayed after causing a disturbance at the California Adventure theme park next to Disneyland. I’m no psychologist, but if you have to be pepper-sprayed at the happiest place on earth? You may have anger issues.

Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant. That is awesome because what the world needs more than anything? More Kardashians.

Indiana lawmaker, Bob Morris, described the Girl Scouts as a radical organization; of course, this Morris idiot also thinks the Jonas Brothers are a hard-core rap group.

The sensation over New York Knick, Jeremy Lin, Linsanity is sweeping China. To show you how crazy it is, millions of young Chinese children spend so much time watching Lin, they’re worried there could be a Nike shoe shortage.

In Philadelphia, a 300-pound man ran into a Wal Mart and stole a pair of socks. Which prompted millions of Florida people to yell: “Why didn’t any of us think of this?”

In his first ten games starting for the New York Knicks, Jeremy Lin averaged almost 24 points a game, almost ten assists and nearly one-and-a-half Kardashians.