Amigos contigos, via con dios, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

This just in:

A woman in England, Hazel Jones, has two vaginas. Big deal, if you're going to count them up, the Kardashian sisters total six.

Forget Bridget, I want to see a movie called "Hazel Jones's Diary."


Just so's yah's knows:

I am officially done with Padma on "Top Chef." Still love the show, but she has too much diva 'tude going. My new fascination is Nadia G. Honest-to-god, I cannot figure out if she is hot, scary, crazy, sexy or skanky. Or all of the above. She turns and winks and she looks hot, then she turns her head the other way, you see the shaved scalp and YIKES.

One chef we know is hot is Giada D. Check out her show in Tahiti. It should be titled: "Your Life Will Never, Ever Be as Good as Mine. "

Oh, and Google: Fred Drexel's Award Winning Chili Recipe.

That is what I got bubbling on my stove. But I am going to turn it into Lex's Cold Spring Tavern Chili. How? At the beginning, I floured and broiled the meat like Julia's Beouf B. Then, at the end, I add ranch beans and finish it by smoking it with Jack Daniels cask oak chips on the grill. Serve with diced yellow onions, shredded cheddar cheese, crushed blue corn chips and sour cream. Add a beer and cornbread and a sliced avocado salad with fresh basil, balsamic, and EVOO, sea salt and pepper.

Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang.