We so G up in this up in here, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

In an e-mail, Rick Perry, mistakenly referred to the deceased North Korean leader, Kim Jong-Il as Kim Jong the Second. When informed he was Il, Perry said; “Ill? Hell, the freaking guy is dead.”

The FDA has approved a hangover remedy called the Blowfish pill; it makes the perfect holiday gift that says to that special person: “We know you’re a chronic alcoholic.”

A South Carolina man died after he was forced to eat the cocaine that was hidden in his brother’s butt; as a result, being eaten by a rabid chimp is now my second least favorite way to die.

New research reveals the top reasons people defriend someone on Facebook are obscene language, trying to sell products and unresponsiveness. In addition, sleeping with their spouse was not considered a plus.

2008 “American Idol” runner-up, David Archuleto, announced he is taking a break from his singing career to go on a Mormon mission. This comes almost a year after Archuleto’s music career took a break from his music career.

Herman Cain said he would accept if offered a White House Cabinet position; no kidding, when has Cain ever turned down an offer of a position?

A Chicago strip club is giving lap dances for patrons who bring in a toy for their toy drive. Apparently the length and quality of the dance depends on the toy. An X-box is worth 20 intimate minutes in the champagne room. A Kim Kardashian Chia pet? Knee to the nuts.

The movie “Young Adult” is getting good reviews. “Charlize Theron’s performance is gritty and hilarious.” “What the hell is Chaz Bono doing in the movie? Oh, sorry, that’s Patton Oswalt.”

A Chicago strip club is giving lap dances for patrons who bring in a toy for their toy drive. The strip club had to announce they have more than enough Benny the Bull dolls from Chicago Bulls players.

New research reveals the top reasons people defriend someone on Facebook are obscene language, trying to sell products and unresponsiveness. Unless you’re Kobe Bryant, then you defriend all the Laker teammates who rated out your affairs to his wife Vanessa.