Back sassin' and data encraption, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Barbara Walters named Steven Jobs along with the Kardashian sisters as this year’s most fascinating people. That’s like naming filet mignon and horse poop as this year’s most interesting tastes.

Mitt Romney said Newt Gingrich would be a zany president; keep in mind, Mitt thinks zany is doing the crossword puzzle in ink.

Scientists have discovered a new species of monkeys in Vietnam they are calling the Elvis monkey because it resembles Elvis; in addition, they have also discovered a new species of manure-dwelling leeches they’re calling the Kardashians.