Monday, December 26, 2011

Pippa is hot an eh-eee-thang, but there is a little of the great Amy Sedaris's "Strangers with Candy" Jerry Blank in there.

An Iranian woman had her adultery sentence changed from a stoning to a hanging. Some people get all the luck.

You know you're having a tough time when being told you're being hanged is good news.

Men are fighting at shoe stores over pairs of the retro Air Jordans by Nike. This marks the first time in history the words "Men are fighting at shoe stores" have ever appeared together.

A Florida man ordered a beer at a bar, left to rob a nearby bank, and came back to the bar to finish the beer where he was promptly arrested. Come on, people of Florida, you're not even trying not to be the lowest trash in the country.

Mitt Romney said he thinks Newt Gingrich would be too zany as president; remember, though, Mitt thinks zany is not leaving the shower to pee.

Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves are engaged;

"Well, ahhright, ahhright, aaahhhhhhriiiiiight."

The New York Jets can still make the playoffs, but they need more help than Rexxxx Ryan trying to put on a pair of spandex bike shorts.

Since you asked:
That tall leggy chick in the T- Mobile commercial is hot, hot, hot, but me thinks she has a serious case of the Golly Wilburs* going on.

* The huge horse-gums Mr. Ed showed when he said "Golly, Wilbur."