Thursday, November 17, 2011

You thinking what I'm thinking? Hell yes, she should paddle over to those tasty waves.

Kate Middleton is pregnant? Man, that Justin Bieber gets around.

There have been infighting, sexual assaults and conflict among the Occupy Wall Street protesters. I'm starting to think trying to change our financial industry through protest is like homemade porn: it sounds great in theory, but in reality it is ugly, disorganized and hard to watch.

Congratulations are in order. It has been an entire week and not one Lohan has been arrested.

Here's my question: if those West Nevada human sexuality students finish their masturbation assignment, do they get to graduate Cum Loudly?

The top Navy Seal brass has denounced the Chuck Pfarrer book, "Seal Target Geronimo" about the raid on Osama bin Laden as a total fraud. And you can tell. Like the time he writes about the Navy Seal who married a vampire.

Since you asked:

Cannot believe the radio morning show I used to write for had the band Great White as their guests. Those were the a-holes one-hit wonders who caused the Rhode Island roadhouse fire that killed 100 kids and injured 230. The place, The Station, was a dump of an interstate bar. It had a low ceiling and was packed with about 500 people and these douche bag, has-beens decide to fire off their fireworks inside the bar.

And the one hit they had, "Once Bitten, Twice Shy" was an awful, annoying song.

The next morning they interviewed on national TV that ass-bag old bald lead singer in the bandana and he had the nasty-ass brass stones to use the interview to plug the freaking band. And when the reporter called the band The White Light, he angrily corrected her. 100 young kids had just died a horrible death due solely to their idiocy, and he gets testy with the reporter while pimping his crappy band.

Cannot listen to that morning show I used to write for. Not only are there too many commercials, but one of the personalities - whose fake name rhymes with Booth Bixty-Bix - stole a joke word for word from my facebook post and used it on air.

When a well-known listener and facebook friend, whose name rhymes with Que-Tee-Bay, pointed it out, I sent Booth Bixty-Bix a personal message on facebook asking politely if she would give me credit in the future when she used my jokes. She flat out said no and that she could steal and use any joke she wanted to and would continue to do so.

That is when I un-friended the psycho bitch. Turns out not a class group. Never would have thought a couple years ago that now I would be as proud not to write for them as I once was to write for them.

Lex's brilliant observation on the driver's of Carmel Valley:

"If I could fuel my car with the C-Word and the word A-hole, I wouldn't have to get gas for a year."