Friday, November 11, 2011

Did you think the same thing I did when you saw this? Right, what horrible paddle technique. Blade pointing wrong way, top hand upside down and below the handle. A mess. What?

Wow, we've all had brain farts, but that Rick Perry had brain dysentery. Quick, somebody ask him why one-fifth of Americans can't locate the US on a world map? *

His debate lapse was so brutal many feel Rick Perry has to quit. But don't worry, Billy Chrystal is replacing him.

So bummed, I went to see the new "Twilight" movie "Breaking Dawn Part II" but I saw "Breaking Wind Part II" by mistake. Not the same thing.

Since you asked:
So yesterday I'm having a smart cocktail with my two friends, Stewie Dogs and our hip, pretty African American girlfriend, Dashiki Jones, or DJ as we call her, and I ask them what they think of Kim Kardashian.

D.J.: "Bitch, please, that white-trash coal-burner taking all the fine brothers from a sister."

Stewey: "All back-bacon and no class takin'. But I'd do her faster than a Rick Perry brain-fart."

Lex answers the famous Miss Teen South Carolina question: Recent polls show one-fifth of Americans cannot locate the US on a world map. Why?

Let's start off with the obvious. One-tenth of Americans are flat-out idiots. They couldn't locate their ass with their hands.

As for the others, as with most things, I blame our over-entitlement. Why do they care about the rest of the world or where the US is located on a world map? They don't think the rest of the world can do anything for them, so why learn about them? Bet they can pick out their state on a US map.

Hell, these people don't care a damn about anything but themselves, why would they care about the rest of the world?