Thursday, October 20, 2011

Congratulations to French First Lady, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, who gave birth to a baby girl. This is believed to be the first baby born to the sitting president of France. This is definitely the first baby born to the sitting president of France who is sitting in a booster-chair.

Bruni-Sarkozy has said she will do anything to protect the child including not releasing photos of the infant. She is serious, she is not even releasing the identity of the father.

It will not be easy for Carla, she'll have to deal with a little one's tantrums. And besides her husband, Nicolas, she has the baby to deal with.

Far be it from me to imply Carla has a checkered past, but when this baby was born, Kevin Costner, Mick Jagger, George Clooney, Donald Trump, Eric Clapton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, John Mayer, Sean Penn and Charlie Sheen all gave out cigars.

After just two months of marriage, it is rumored that Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries are getting divorced. If a shallow and vain couple can't make a relationship work based on cheap publicity and greed, what chance do the rest of us have?

Some experts are calling the Kardashian/Humphries break up the strongest argument for gay marriage yet.

This just in:

Libyan dictator, Moammar Gadhafi, has been killed. Correction, it was Mohamer Khadaffi, no, wait, wrong again, it was Muhwahmar Qhadafhi, check that, it turns out it was Mowhamer Cwadhafi . . .

Moammar Gadhafi is killed and it is rumored that North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Il, is terminally ill. It is a bad time for evil dictators with bad hair and huge sunglasses. So Donald Trump's line of sunglasses could be in for tough times.

Bank of America reported a $6.2 Billion profit in the third quarter. The bad news for B of A customers? They're being charged $5 to read about the $6.2 Billion profit.

First Osama bin Laden, now Moammar Gadhafi, suddenly killing evil tyrants with bad hair is becoming a trend. Somewhere Donald Trump is sleeping with one eye open.

The talks between the NBA owners and the players have reached another stalemate. Progress has been horrible. On one side you have rich, spoiled, inflexible egomaniacs, and on the other side you have . . . oh, my word, this thing is never going to be resolved.

After 72 years of marriage, an Iowa couple died holding hands. In an unrelated story, Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries are getting divorced after two months because they both discovered they still like having sex with other people. A lot.

Is it just me, or does Michele Bachmann look like that sadistic high school English teacher who assigned a ten-page term paper over the Thanksgiving weekend with a smile on her face?