Sunday, October 16, 2011

Bring it on home, bring on home to me, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Man it was hot yesterday. I was sweating like Tiger Woods being chased down by the Oscar Meyer Weiner-mobile.

The economy is bad, today a guy had to trade in his BlackBerry that didn’t work for a calculator that didn’t work.

“Rush Hour” actor, Chris Tucker, will lose his $6 mil. Florida mansion to a $11.5 tax lien to the IRS. On the bright side, Tucker is due to star in “The Wesley Snipes Story.”

A California couple were filmed having sex while skydiving. They may be the first man and woman who had sex skydiving, but this is definitely the first time a woman has screamed: “Will you forget the foreplay and hurry up and finish already?”

In a cover story for “US” magazine, a 22-year-old woman, Sara Leal, said she had an affair with Ashton Kutcher, but she wouldn’t have if she’d known he was happily married to Demi Moore. Because nothing protects a marriage like admitting an affair with the husband in a cover story for “US” magazine.

During the last republican debate, Herman Cain kept extolling his tax plan repeating “Nine- nine- nine, nine-nine-nine.” Incidentally “Nein! Nein!Nein!” was what the German maid yelled at ex-IMF director, Dominque Strauss-Kahn, when he chased her around the hotel suite.”

In order for the Milwaukee Brewers to beat the St. Louis Cardinals, they will have to get Albert Pujols to strike out, or whiff. This will be the first time a person will want to whiff Pujols.

Now it looks like the NBA season will be cancelled through Christmas. If you’re wondering what to get that NBA player on your Christmas list, you can’t go wrong with a home pregnancy test.

My current fitness program is working. Feel much better and have lost some weight.

A, eat better and lighter by being a strict vegetarian during the day. Sensible healthy dinners at night. As long as I know I have some grilled fish or chicken coming up later, I can eat like a Spartan warrior all day: fruits, smoothies, veggies, protein shakes, power bars, nuts, etc.

B, exercise more. My wrist band of AC’s first soccer shoelace must get salty- wet everyday, either from working out hard or surfing or paddle cruising. Mixing in some strides, running hills, the indo board, pushups, the plank, jumping rope, and a lot of stairs.

C, meditate once a day. 20 minutes around 4:30 and the world seems like a much better place. Especially if I meditate after working out. Work out, shower, get in the robe, meditate, pull on blue jeans and t-shirt and pour a glass of wine and grill some fish. Play some blues. Play with Wrigley. Heaven.

D, drink less and better. More quality wines, less of it.