Marisa Miller launches her own line of SUP boards. I launch my own something else. Sorry.

All the cool kids are trying it

They been ho'in and it be showin', Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


A Vegan group’s ad claims hot dogs are just as bad for you as cigarettes. Not sure about that, but hot dogs are a lot harder to keep lit.

A Vegan group’s ad claims hot dogs are just as bad for you as cigarettes. Gosh, I am so glad, for a while there I thought people thought of vegans as whacky, over-reactionaries.

It was a group of Vegan doctors. Can you imagine a group snottier than Vegan doctors? They make you wait an hour to insult your eating habits.

The Oakland Raiders have hired a cheerleader who is a grandmother. She even has her own cheer: “Two bits, four bits, six bits a buck, oh shoot, I forgot what I was going to say . . .”

“Sports Illustrated” had a player’s poll: who is the most entertaining player to chat with on the base paths? The winner was San Diego Padre, Orlando Hudson. Of course none of the Seattle Mariners qualified. Not because they’re not entertaining, they don’t ever get on base.

A survey reveals baseball games are 20 minutes longer than they were 30 years ago. More bad news for Seattle Mariners fans.

A survey reveals baseball games are 20 minutes longer than they were 30 years ago. Gosh, I wonder why that would be? (Call time out. Step out of the batters box. Adjust batting gloves. Adjust hat, belt, shoes, crotch. Step back in. Dig in cleats. Take practice swings.)

The big craze with pro athletes is planking. NBA stars Dwight Howard and Gilbert Arenas both planked on top of their SUVs in a car wash. Don’t confuse planking with the Seattle Mariners, their new craze is tanking.

A Vegan group’s ad claims hot dogs are just as bad for you as cigarettes. Hot dog lovers dispute this claim and point out that, while not the healthiest of foods, hot dogs are way better for you than injecting heroin into your eyeballs with rusty needles.

Plaxico Burress went from 20 months in prison to the New York Jets; wouldn’t he be more comfortable at the Cincinnati Bengals? It is more of a balance between felons and the NFL.

Good move for the Jets, I’ve said it before, Burress is possibly the greatest wide receiver ever named Plaxico.

A survey reveals baseball games are 20 minutes longer than they were 30 years ago. Gosh, I wonder why that would be? Boston’s Omar Garciaparro used to adjust his batting gloves so much he annoyed Rainman.

Controversial wide receiver Randy Moss has retired. Moss wants to spend more time not trying with his family.



Since you asked:

Besides talking on a hand held phone while driving and stopping in the crosswalk, a good measure of a person’s stupid, lazy-ass, douche-ability is how much noise they make with their footwear when they walk. You can actually hear the words “Douche” and “Bag” when their sandals or sneakers shuffle on the ground. How much more effort does it require not to make that annoying noise? So small it can't be measured. But they would rather annoy the rest of us with that noise than put in that effort.