Oh hell yes, oh my my

We grillin’, chillin’ and fulfillin’, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

The NFL strike is over. It was announced on ESPN that the NFLPA, from the AFC and the NFC, OK’d the CBA by sending an SMS text LOL instead of WTF.

The NFL strike is over. This is a relief for Oakland Raider owner, Al Davis. He can quit his job as the temporary host of HBO’s “Tales from the Crypt.”

It is still hot. It is so hot in Detroit, people are sweating like the Lions when they found out they’ll have to play this season.

You gotta admire that John Boehner, he sticks to his guns. When he makes a decision to go for the Sedona orange spray tan instead of the burnt sienna, he stays with it.

Grey Goose Vodka uses the Rolling Stones "Miss You" in their commercials. Could be worse, Viagra could use "Start Me Up."

Since you asked:

This debt ceiling crisis is dumbfounding. Congress’ main job is to make sure something like this does not happen. This is like paying someone $250 dollars not to hit you in the face. As soon as you give them the check, bam, they punch you right in the face.

Although not a fanatic about any sport – I used to be about the Decathlon – I do consider myself a somewhat knowledgeable sports fan. (Note to self: you just had to have spell-check correct your spelling of knowledgeable, you freaking idiot) Easy, inner tirade.

Yet I am the first to admit I am not a Rainman when it comes to stats or trivia. And I am open- minded to new sports. Didn’t care much about soccer until the women’s ‘99 team and then my daughter started playing. Now I can watch matches on TV even if USA is not playing. It’s taken years, but I can now spot off-sides, which is more than 80% of refs seem able to do.

Hell, I discovered my favorite participant sport at the age of 50 in stand up paddle board surfing and paddling. Surfed at Scripps/La Jolla Shores today and caught six juicy rights in an hour session. One in particular I worked like a pro. Straight, right, straight, paddle right as the wave curled out.

So, as a self-acknowledged sports guy, words cannot describe how much I do not care about the Tour De France.

Used to. Loved the beautiful French countryside and the Villas, the Brit announcers, then, fired up, would go out for a bike ride. No more.

Even in its heyday with Lance pissing off the French, part of the Tour struck me as too chummy – see NASCAR – too political and too contrived. Oh, hell, I’ll just say it, it seemed too European. By too European I am referring to things like the pony tails, the single names, the diva behavior. Flopping in soccer is too European. Shaving your legs for the race is too European. Doing that fake smooch, smooch, cheek, cheek thing to those hot babes on the podium is too European. Having your pits smell like the sewers of Rangoon is too - OK, Lex, we got it.

But even with a cautionary tale from track and field’s steroid-related drop in popularity, the cycling world went right on shooting itself in the foot by turning people off with positive performance enhancing drug tests.

Now it appears the man himself, the Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky, Joe Montana of cycling, Lance Armstrong, is going down in a doping scandal trial. It would take caring a whole lot more for me not to give a crap about cycling.

With the amazingly classless botching of firing his loyal caddy, Steve Williams, the real Tiger Woods is really starting to show. That studly, scary dude storming down a Masters fairway in a blood-red shirt is being replaced by the sniveling, nose-blowing, tube-sock-wearing, foul-mouthed, grumpy, cheapskate Army brat nerd in charmless Bellflower named Eldrick Tont.

Can't wait for the unseemly dirt about Tiger that will come spewing out of Williams's biography. Nice job with Lance and Tiger, Nike.

Not that I stood a chance to get it, I did interview for the track and field marketing job at Nike. A week doesn't go by when I don't thank my stars for not getting it. Me working with all those snotty, arrogant, know-it-all, humorless, brain-washed cult members would have ended up with lawyers involved and possibly jail time.

But they do make some awesome-ass running shoes, which I just purchased. My hypocrisy knows no bounds.