Jason Segel & Paul Rudd Meet Rush

Although I am not a huge Rush fan, this cracks me up no end.

Toats McGoats, cue sigh and eye-roll, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


The Navy trains and deploys for missions 75 dolphins and 35 sea lions. It was awkward, when Sarah Palin heard this she said; “Wow, I knew the Navy used seals, but I didn’t know about dolphins and sea lions.

Ann Coulter appeared on the “Joy Bahar Show” and said she believes gays can pray away the gay. This is interesting coming from a woman who has scared straight men gay.

Former Russian President, Vladimir Putin, is considering another run for president. Asked to comment, former President George W. Bush said; “Heh, heh. His name is Putin.”

An AWOL Pfc., Nasar Abdo, was caught with bombs in his hotel room and planned to bomb a restaurant at Fort Hood. Abdo was granted conscientious objector status for his devout Muslim beliefs. Gosh, if there had only been a red flag that could have alerted authorities about this near tragedy earlier.

Apparently his “I Heart Osama Bin Laden” t-shirt didn’t raise enough suspicions.

The Washington Redskins traded troubled malcontent, Albert Haynesworth, to the New England Patriots. I don’t want to say Haynesworth is lazy, but his idea of cooking is calling Dominoes on speed dial.

I don’t want to say Haynesworth is lazy, but he wears Depends adult diapers and he doesn’t have a bladder control problem.

I don’t want to say Haynesworth is fat, but his cell phone screen saver is a picture of deep fried twinkie.

Remember the astronaut, Lisa Nowak, who drove all night in an adult diaper from Houston to Orlando to pepper spray a romantic rival in 2007? She was just discharged from the Navy. It took the Navy four years. I’m guessing this isn’t the same department that killed Osama bin Laden

Since you asked:
What a great day stand up paddle boarding with the family and three good friends at Carlsbad Lagoon. Fun, water, games, dogs, exercise, laughs, hanging at the beach. It had a real old-time California vibe.

"Hello, my name is Alex and I am a "Shark Week" aholic, man-whore, slut."

Congratulate me, Slattiloses and Nuggliasaureses, last early evening, I was able to turn on my outdoor speaker playlist, go outside, pet Wrigley and fire up the grill without thinking I would see Kasey. Only took me 21 days. Nobody ever said I was a genius.

Actually, one guy I used to write for called me a comedy writing genius. He will not return my e-mails. So how did that genius thing work out for me?