Friday, July 22, 2011

This right here is what a spoiled rotten dog looks like, his royal Wrigger-digger, Wrigley T.

Well slap me baffy-headed and call me Betty, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

It is so hot in London, Rupert Murdoch asked someone to throw an Eskimo pie at him.

Britney Spears is being sued by a former bodyguard for, among other things, loudly passing gas. A lot. If this is true, it brings new meaning to Britney’s song; “Oops, I Did It Again.”

In South Africa, a great white shark jumped into a research boat. The good news is nobody, including the shark, was hurt, and because it jumped the shark, the boat got a sitcom on the Disney Channel.

Comic Con has begun in San Diego. So good luck getting your computer fixed in the next four days.

Comic Con in San Diego. It’s the only place in the world where hookers get paid to play Dungeons and Dragons.

It is so hot in New York, people are going to the Mets games just to feel the breeze off the bats of the Mets striking out.

A leopard attacked a village in India. Now don’t confuse this with Kirsty Alley, she’s a cougar who attacked a bar in Hollywood.

“The Addams Family” creator’s New Jersey house is up for sale. “The Addams Family”confused me. Why would a married woman, like Mortisha, keep a fully functioning, yet disembodied, hand in a box? What purpose could that possibly, oh, my word, I got it, Thing was a sex toy.

Tiger Woods has dumped his caddy, Steve Williams. Apparently Tiger heard Williams was playing a round with another golfer.

Donald Trump’s daughter, Ivanka, had a baby girl. They named her Arabella Rose, which is better than the name the Donald wanted. He wanted her named Trumpina Trumply.

Only 25% of American students passed a geography test. Asked to comment about the poor geography results., one student says “Who cares about a bunch of rocks?”

In San Diego the Del Mar racetrack opened on the same day as Comic Con; proving again that there is nothing more beautiful than a gorgeous woman in a big floppy hat, and nothing as dorky as a nerd dressed as Hans Solo.

Kim Kardashian is suing Old Navy for using what she claims is a Kim Kardashian look-alike in their ads. If that’s true, Kim will have to sue every other stupid bimbo hanging out at the mall.

Since you asked:
Call me a stand paddle board surfing fool, I don’t mind. Got her done at La Jolla Shores/Scripps at 6:45 am. Good sess. Caught about ten great rides. Used the paddle once I caught the wave for a change. It really helps.

Miss Cuthpert, you gorgeous stack of pancakes, you.

Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooon riverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.